Symptoms of inner peace

 ( author unknown- coming to me via my brilliant friend Marian 🙂 )

  • A tendency to think and act deliberately rather than from fears based on past expectations
  • An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
  • A loss of interest in judging others
  • A loss of interest in judging SELF
  • A loss of interest in conflict
  • A LOSS OF INTEREST IN INTERPRETING THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS ( Marian couldn’t help but enlarge this one! Hmm … why is that? 😉 )
  • A loss of ability to worry
  • Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
  • Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
  • Increasing susceptibility to kindness offered and the uncontrollable urge to reciprocate

Woweee! What good stuff! My friends also said this other good stuff …

Hi Col,

Wow, you sound…human. It is so easy to slip into the future and  to worrying about it and those voices in our head are there to keep us safe. They just go overboard some times. Stay in the present, man in front of you saying he (is not dating) anyone else. How do you feel when you think the thought, I need to know that he is not looking for someone else to protect myself? But you know all this and so do I. You are safe right now and none of us have guarantees about the future, each moment is a gift and you are a gift to the peaceful warriors, and  to your new friend. You continue to inspire me with your openness and awareness!! Stay present, continue to examine your thoughts and enjoy this relationship!

Much love,


Hi Col:

First and foremost, remember this: You’ve already got more than half the battle won:  you’re developing the self-awareness to be able to notice when you are playing the game.    From here, change is possible!

So.. next step: what self-coaching questions can you shift  to whenever you find yourself playing that game?

I can imagine all kinds – these three – all very different – might help you shift to generating your own list:

What matters most?

If I were living a blissful life regardless of guy-status, what would I be doing now?

What am I not facing by playing the what if game?

Have fun with this – brainstorming good questions for yourself is strengthening your “I can choose again” muscle.

And one last thought: when you catch yourself playing what if…, its time to congratulate yourself for noticing, so that shifting  perspective is possible.    There is a pothole on this street – its called beating ourselves up when we notice as if we’ve caught ourselves doing something wrong -but that detours way off in the wrong direction, so mark it on your map but don’t go there!

Here’s a thought, kind of a simple-pool-of-water kind of a thought, that came after I read your note:

fall in love with yourself first

There is so much to love in you!  I can’t imagine our PW circle without your rich and generous spirit.




What if, no matter what, you are going to end up with the perfect relationship? What if, the perfect man for you is going to find you? What if, he is the perfect man and what’s going on right now is all in your head….

Just a thought of some what if’s that can help you. REMEMBER, you make your own reality. Accept what is, if he is looking to date someone else and you find out, no matter what YOU’RE SAFE because you choose to be safe. No one can change that or take that from you. Love yourself and have confidence in your choices. Know that if you find out he’s lying and dating others than it is a blessing to know one more guy who ISN’T Mr. Right and be one step closer to the man who is.

What if, YOU ARE PERFECT just he way you ARE?! Let God’s light shine through your genuine personality and leave the worrying up to somebody else. Just enjoy what you do have and don’t fret on the what ifs… because the more you obsess the more likely you’ll bring that upon yourself.

Remember you are as safe as you choose to be. You can have a totally open heart with the agreement to yourself that no matter the
outcome, its okay! Because it was meant to be that way and it will always turn out right!

Lots of love and comfort to you,


~ by gigablonde on September 24, 2007.

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