A beautiful wreck

Convo with my magic genie hailing from Denver, CO …

Genie: (talkin’ ’bout a tarot card called “the tower”)

The Tower.  In a moment it is over. In a moment the false structures and beliefs come tumbling down, suddenly, violently and all at once. There is not to be intense and profound grief that hydrates fear in this rude awakening, quite the contrary.  Smoke clears on this your new playing field!  Resistance to change has been torn down . . . BY FORCE IF NECESSARY.  Breathe.  Breathe deeply!  Long exhales.  The only thing left is the truth of what simply is . . . NOW.  Forget your preconceptions.  The components of them that really infuse your vision will never leave.  You have made room for something new.  You can build with that!  No-one said this one’s going to be easy.  Your whole life may have just turned upside down.  Breathe the change.  Set forms for new foundations under your new dreams as you may have just accomplished the ones you had! A pond turning over is stinky and tumultuous.  And, though the pond may be more fertile the next day, the next day is not yet here.  For your own sake, and take this to heart: remember that throughout the duration of the event it is still a pond.  Search yourself.  The truth is there.  Nothing can destroy that in you.  Look to your truth for courage.  Breathe the change.  Build.  This could take a while.  And, if you can accomplish your life’s mission during your life . . . you’re not thinking big enough.  Trust yourself.  What do your strokes look like now.  Smile with no spite.

Me: Dang, tarot card or no tarot card, sounds suspiciously like … my life!

I really love your tower card … it is so fascinating because of course it at first sounds negative and then the interesting part comes when it says:

Smoke clears on this your new playing field! 

And I am clearing clearing clearing like mad amidst Mr. Payne in his Hummer limo. Doctor is back from vacation tomorrow, looking forward to seeing her sorry ass! Leavin’ me for two weeks, damnit!!! 😉  How dare she vacation in lovely wherever-she-went!

When she was gone, I fell down the stairs and grew a baseball-sized ball on the back of me, can you get over that? So I had to stop the pain medication because whatever was in the pain med was stopping the ball from diminishing because it was an (antidiuretic or a somethin’ – somethin’ that will retain water and calcium and not let it leave your ball! 😉  DAMN! I am officially a walking disaster!

Not really. I am really a happy person (seriously!) and if not for Mr Payne I would not be getting rid of ALL this stuff, motivated to do so, it is SO SO SO SO great!!!  I have had to make so many changes because of his ass and they are really good changes which will take a long time to get into place but they are worthy changes for a girl to make. So yaay!

Genie: (genie’s comments have been edited for brevity 😉

(Wo)Man do you feel your life fully!

The smoke clears on this your new playing field! . . . like great shots of Anthony pitching . . . except older with YOUR rockin’ way!

I’d love to orchesterate your space . . . and then I think . . . you aren’t Hummer’ing your situation . . . you just about have a TEREX truck. . . F’IN HUGE piece of machinery you’re driving with YOU!

& upon further reflection . . . you should not refer to yourself as a disaster . . . heretofore it is deemed that Col is until further notice (from her herself ) “a beautiful wreck” . . . and THAT’s THAT!  🙂


~ by gigablonde on September 13, 2007.

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