Ok … as so often happens I cannot sleep …

I’m sitting here coughing and wondering why I’ve been sick for months and months and months and months and why no medication is making me better. And why pain comes and goes always here at some point during the day but who knows when and why and for how long.

See now he’s not Mr. Payne driving up in his convertible, now he’s pain plain and simple, I must be pissed 😉

Not for lack of trying to live a healthy life on my part. I’m coughing up green stuff, NOT to gross ya out or anything over there, my fair reader 😉 but this is a sure sign to me that there is without a shadow of a doubt something physically wrong and that it’s not just this little head ‘o mine messin’ with me. I mean, I know it, they say it’s physical but sometimes I doubt myself, y’know? It’s so long and how can they not know or not have some solution? I don’t get it. How come they can’t just fix me, hmm?


This is the way it was like four months ago. That’s a pretty long time dangnabbit! These are new words for me, does this mean I’m losing my mind? Dangnabbit? And the head pain, man, that’s been going on for well over a year.

And why is it like a car where you can sometimes drive it and hear the noises and sometimes not? Like ten minutes ago I sounded like a ninety year old man who smoked three packs a day for the past thirty years and now I’m silent … hmm … my lungs were rattling and now nothing … what’s up with that? I have to try not to breathe too deep so it doesn’t start. Ok so now I’m coughing but no rattling.

I don’t get it.

Part of me wants to run up to the nearest stranger yelling, “Help, help! Do whatever you want I don’t care, don’t tell me about it, don’t make me make any decisions, just do it and fix me!!!”

 And I don’t wanna be a whiny bitch 😦


~ by gigablonde on July 26, 2007.

One Response to “Dangnabbit!”

  1. & this weekend Col met and entertained a visitor to her island who fast came to realize that more than her having breadth and hope and vision, more than dreams and vigor and is truly a mindbodybeautiful beauteinsidenout, more than being fun to be around at ALL times, more than she is a blast to shop with, eat with, hang with. . . Col ROCKS like nobody’s business! Col ROCKS like no other! ! ! Did I mention that Col is SOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: