Payne missed me!

Ok so Payne just parked his purple Maserati on my face and I heard him trying to move his couch in through the door. I laid down like I used to and then cried for about ten minutes but I’m not pissed.

Mom caught me cryin’ for the first time in forever so she supportively came for a ride to the bank with me so I don’t bouncy-bounce any checks and she listened to I’d say about five minutes of how I felt and I’m over it now. (See how I’m minimizing by telling you it was exactly five minutes … did it work? Do you think I’m not a bitcher-n-moaner now?) It’s all good! Thank god for listeners!

And chocolate-chip-cookie-buyers and special treat vanilla-iced-coffee-buyers … for some reason I felt very happy walking into the house with those things, even though I normally don’t have those during the week. It felt like a security blanket of some kind, like I was a child who had just been through some trauma and who had done a good job and who had deserved three chocolate chip cookies and a vanilla iced coffee.

So content.

And thank god, seriously, for the soft in and out flow of my feelings around Payne and letting him come and go without it affecting my whole entire time on this earth. For example, looking at my feelings right now in this moment and seeing how at peace and content I feel, I’m so grateful for that … for the fact that Payne can dance on my head at 1pm and I can be happy again at nearly 1am.

Now that’s progress, people! 🙂

Stef sent me the pix of her birthday, the sweetheart, and little things like that make my day! I just love pix, don’t you? She’s a doll because I think I may have slightly traumatized her with my longish e-mail address, first-time-pix-sender and all … she did great!


~ by gigablonde on July 11, 2007.

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